Jessica's Thoughts
by StablerSVUfreak
Summary: Read the story of Jessica and girl who is a victim of foster child abuse,her journey,struggle,and survival.Disclaimer I don't own the characters! Too bad!
1. New Parents

July 10,2005

Nothing happened today I went to school and came home alone as usual. But now that I'm writing this it's 10:30 pm and Mom or Dad still aren't home.

July 11,2005

When I woke up this morning two people were standing over me. One guy about 35, and a woman about 30. I got scared and hid under the covers then one of them spoke. "Jessica its's ok we are police and we have to tell you something" I asked them for their badges and they showed me. Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson from Special Victims Unit. "What does Special Victims Unit mean?  
I asked. "Sex crimes" was all they said. "Jessica I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your parents are dead.

July 12,2005

After they told me that I cried so hard my whole body seemed drained. Today I'm writing this down at what they call their "precinct" only I wasn't with SVU I was with homicide.

July 13,2005

More detectives came in and told me they found a nice foster home for me. I wonder why SVU came to me in the first place.

July 14,2005

The foster people are Ben and Julie Trevose. They are nice especially Ben but of course I just met them. Julie is o.k but I guess I shouldn't judge.


	2. The beginning of a bad life

July 15,2005

I wish my parents never died. Today I asked Ben when I was going back to school and he hit me.  
Hard. My face is all red and bruised. The weirdest part was Julie didn't seem so suprised.

July 16,2005

It happened again! All I did was look at him and he waled over,grabbed my hair,and pulled me into his room where I took the biggest beating of my life. Punches and slaps, My eyes are swollen.  
I came out crying and then when I expected Julie to be nice she just slammed me into the wall and told me to shut-up.

July 17,2005

I went back to school today. My friend Sarah aske me why I was so hurt and told me to tell somebody about it. Ben threatened me that if I told anybody I would surely die a painful way. That got me scared.

July 18,2005

Ben did more today. He came home drunk and at first started hitting me. Then he got to far. Julie was on a buisness trip so it was just us. I started screaming when I saw him starting to take of his pants and reach for mine. He raped me! The guy raped me!

July 19,2005

When I was at school I asked to use the phone to call SVU using the card they gave me when I first met them. Sex crimes I thought in my head, yeah they should deal with this stuff.

July 20,2005

I talked to Detective John Munch. He said he should come pick me up but I stopped him.  
"He is picking me up from school today you can't"  
Tears formed in my eyes. He explained to me that he couldn't hurt me anymore but I didn't believe him.

July 21,2005

More rape and beatings. This time he put my hands on the stove because he found the SVU card in my pocket.  
"If you ever call this number or have this card again I WILL KILL YOU"  
He ripped it up right in front of me.  
"My only chance I'm never gonna see 20" I said under my breath  
"What"! he yelled,

I ran into my room crying when he chased after me.


	3. A chance so far away

July 22,2005 

Julie came back today. Ben had already fallen asleep so she figured it was her turn to hit me.  
But no,not in the house at a club with people.She didn't it me in the club. She took me in so she could get a drink to loosen her self up. I saw a familiar face. Oh my god that is Detective Benson. Brown hair,brown eyes,and about 30 years old.  
"Come on Jessica lets go" Julie said pulling my arm.  
"But I need to go to the bathroom" I lied, I really wanted to talk to Benson.  
She told me to make it quick as she watched me walk to the bathroom.  
I hoped Detective Benson would see me and follow me in but she didn't even notice.

July 23,2005

I can't even go to school today I look so bad. Ben and Julie were scared I might blow there cover.  
My mirror should have broken. My right eye was swollen shut. Purple,green,and yellow bruises cover my neck to my thighs. But down in my private area things are even worse from the rapes.  
Red and even more bruised.

July 24,2005

I might not write alot because yesterday Ben broke and burned my hand. My bone is almost right in view.  
Sarah is getting concerned. When she saw mr she threatened to call the poilce and have me taken away from that hell house. I broke down crying pleading her not to tell anyone. She gave in to my cries.  
But she said she would write a letter to the SVU center.

July 25,2005

Sarah wrote the letter using the name Julietta D. "Why"! I cried "You could be dead next thing I know,Jessica I care about you"  
"I told you not to do anything"! My anger was growing by the minute.  
"I told them not to go to our school or anything" Sarah explained  
After she said that sentence guess who would walk in but Detective Stabler and Benson.  
They walked to the principals and Sarah and I followed.  
"Hi I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner Detective Benson,we got a letter saying a child here is in grave danger with her foster parents"  
"She or he used the name Julietta D." Benson added

"Could you check your students for a Julietta please"? Stabler asked

"No Julietta's came up but 8 foster students came up" the principal said.  
That was when Sarah and I had to get to class so we left.

July 26,2005 The detectives came to my class but didn't ask for me, they asked for Hailey and Wendell.  
After they were done they just left.  
"Wait what about me"? my voice choked out.


	4. They found me

July 27,2005 

The detectives came back to my school today. This time they asked to see me. I walked out to the hallway and this is how I remember the conversation going it was suprising.  
"So Jess how are you doing"? Olivia began "I just wanted to check up on you from your foster parents" she continued "How did you get all those cuts and bruises"? Elliot asked concerned "I ummm... fell off my bike" was all I could say "Anyway how are Ben and Julie Trevose"? Olivia wanted to get off subject because I think she noticed me getting upset.  
"Fine" once again a simple obvious answer, I wanted to yell out "NO their terrible they hit me hard" "Please help me" But I knew I couldn't.

July 28,2005

Ben found my old diary today so I had to start a new one. He started reading it aloud to Julie and they got really angry when they read about Olivia and Elliot. Ben was the first to start the hitting. He started with punches to the stomach and ended with my hands on the stove. Julie's turn.  
For once she was even worse. She threw me down to the hard cement floor in the basement that made my nose start bleeding. Then she took a fire poker and and started hitting my back with it. After she was done with that the last thing I remember was her taking a baseball bat and hitting me over the head with it then I blacked out.

July 29,2005

Julie and Ben kept me home from school today. When I woke up in the basement again I was all unclothed and obviously raped. I couldn't even walk up to my "room" so I took this diary, which I keep down stairs now and started writing. Oh my god Ben's coming down here!

July 29,2005 continued

Help Help Help. Ben nearly killed me. He brought down a knife and tried to stab me in the chest but missed and hit my arm. It's bleeding pretty badly.

July 30,2005

When I arrived at school today 4 detectives were there in my homeroom. Sarah told them what had happened and how I didn't come to school. She was breaking out crying in joy when I came to school alive.  
There I met Detectives Munch, and Fin. I immediatly knew which one was Munch because of the phone call. Elliot and Olivia took me into the principals office. This was our conversation.

"Jessica we know you are abused" Elliot stated "Sweetheart you don't have to hide it anymore,we are here to help you" Benson was nicer "Our friends Munch and Fin are going over to talk to the Trevose's"  
"NO"! I called out "If they just leave him there and I come home I'm dead"! I cried "Jess" Olivia cooed "We can't arrest him unless you prove to the judge he hurt you"  
"I'll prove it look at me" I showed her where he stabbed,burned,and beat me.  
"Oh my god" Elliot looked really sad


	5. Put away forever

August 1,2005

I'm the happiest I have been in a long time. We had enough proof to arrest Ben and Julie so I will be put in a new foster care. Honestly I don't like that idea what if they are another Ben and Julie?  
Also I have grown to take the SVU squad as a family. Since I'm their case I am always around.  
I really like Olivia though. She had done so much to help me I even live in her place for awhile 'till we find a new foster home that has had good reviews. I have to go practice my testimony now. Bye

August 2,2005

My trial was an hour ago and Ben is sentanced to 75 years in prison with no parole. Julie is only 25 years because she didn't do much. When I heard she was only going to have 25 I cried.

"No,No,NO she will be out to get me again" I cried "Jessica,she won't get you I promise" Munch soothed "Yeah sweetheart she probably won't remember what you even look like" Olivia added "Jess,you will also be given a new first name" Elliot said trying to make me feel more confindent.

Well... I still think she will find me because my new name is Julietta. Ha.

August 4,2005

I would have written yesterday but they were having my foster hearing. My new parents are Didi and James Robinson. But there was a suprise. Didi and James are only my parents for the week.  
Olivia volunteered to be my parent for the weekends. WoW I'm can't wait 'till Saturday.

August 5,2005

Now I'm at Didi and Jame's house. I have an older brother Peter and an older sister Holly.  
Today was also my last day with the SVU people except of course Olivia. We had a party at Dominoes and I spilled my soda,accidentally,all over Munch's clothes. He didn't look to happy but understood it was and accident. Then we played 2 on 2 basketball. Olivia and I versus Elliot and Fin. Of course we lost but I still had a great time. I will miss them. One more thing. This will be my last entry because I have decided not to keep a diary anymore,but to write stories to be published.

Yours Truly,  
Jessica or Julietta Benson-Robinson


	6. 25 year trauma

I want to thank TheAngryPrincess13 for this idea. Hope you all like it.!

* * *

February 1,2030

Wow this seems so weird I haven't written in this thing for at least 25 years. Life had changed alot! After I graduated NYU I met my husband and father of my daughter Kenzie. His name is Elliot.  
I thought it was weird his name was Elliot,just like my detective I had when I was a kid.  
Anyway Kenzie is only 5. About 10 years after Olivia gained some custody of me I lost contact with her. She still writes sometimes and talks about the precinct and everybody there. But I never write back. Julie,well what can I say about her. Since she was released from prison for "good"  
behavior I have been cautious but never saw her.

February 2,2030

Kenzie started kindergarden today. I know it seems just a little bit early but good education is always popular. At work today, I'm a nurse, I heard on the news that there was a spotting of Julie, and they told what she did and just to be on the look out. How did she make it to here?

February 3,2030

Kenzie was kidnapped! Oh my gosh when she didn't get off the bus this afternoon I started to worry. Somebody wants my little girl, I hope she's o.k.

February 4,2030

Elliot spent all night looking for her but found nothing, not a trace. I called Special Victims Unit today because I thought Elliot would find her. When I went down there to talk everybody was so happy to see me. Munch was dead by now and had been replaced by Detective Deezee(Not a real person). But Fin and Stabler were overwhelmed, Olivia was crying. In all the years I knew her I had never seen her cry until now. I told them what had happened to Kenzie and how thought it was Julie and Elliot assured me that they would find her. I hope he is right.


	7. Found and escaped

February 30,2030

They found her ! I decided not to write because since my daughter was missing writing is a stupid thing to do. Anyway they found her beaten pretty badly and some signs of sexual abuse. They worst part is Julie fled. She probably is half way across the country by now. Kenzie is mortified. She will only speak to Olivia, Casey, and I. Elliot says she has a case of RTS, which is normal but will effect learnig to testify with Dr.Huang. Casey is in there right now with her trying to explain she has to testify when we catch Julie (if we ever do). After Casey's failed attempt, Olivia tried. Once again nothing worked. I'm going to try now, wish me luck!

**A little while later**

This is how our converstation went.

"Kenzie,sweetheart, you will have time to prepare because we still need to catch the women that hurt you"

"But Mommy, I don't wanna" Kenzie pleaded

(I sighed) She was in total denial. Olivia tried a new approach, bribary.

"Kenz, how about if you agree to testify Casey, your Mom, and I will buy you icecream"?

"Olivia"! Casey screamed

"Ms.Novak, I will do it for a little icecream"

So we set the date for Saurday when Kenzie will tell us the whole story.

* * *

Sorry this chapter is short I have been busy lately. The next chapter will be longer! Thanks to all my reviewers! 


	8. An ending so beautiful

I promised I would make this longer! Any suggestions?

* * *

March 1,2030 

I was actually happy Kenzie only went for icecream because if she was only a little older my wallet would have a hole burned through it! Ha-Ha

The conversation started with how Kenzie got into the car with Julie and why. She said Julie told her she had icecream and little puppies waiting for her. After saying that statement Kenzie burst out in tears feeling ashamed she fell for it. Olivia told her it was o.k mistakes happen. (She knows how to make kids feel better). Casey continued with what Julie did to her after she was kidnapped.

"Did she say anything", "Kenzie every little detail is important"

"S-s-she said that what Mommy did as a child was eventually was going to come back to haunt her".

"Sweetie, what did she do to you"? I asked

Kenzie took a bite of her icecream and thought about it for a minute.

"Well she started with just hitting me, you know, for the first couple of days" she began

"Then it got more serious when she saw my picture on T.V along with hers" Kenzie choked back tears.

"The lady muttered to herself 'I have to get rid of this kid' "

"What happened next"? Casey was pushing for details

"When I finally went to sleep..."

"Mom, Olivia, Ms.Novak, I can't continue this conversation any more" Kenzie barely whispered

"Oh come on I bought you icecream" Olivia tried to make her laugh. She chuckled a little bit but stopped abruptly.

"Kenz, we are tying to get every little detail we can to help you, please" I tried to persuade her but she was like a brick wall.

I pulled Olivia and Casey away for a moment.

"Do any of you think she would be more comfortable around Elliot"? I asked hoping for a good response.

"Yeah I mean he does treat her like a daughter" Detective Benson added

"You guys Kenzie has RTS she is not comfortable around any men" Casey put in

"But she loves El, and he loves her back, they're perfect" I wanted to help Kenzie more than ever.

"We mine as well give it a shot but I'm not promising anything" Casey said.

March 2,2030

I took Kenzie to talk to Elliot today. Well all I can say is it didn't go as perfectly as I hoped. Here is their conversation

"So, Kenz how have you been doing" Elliot started out small.

"I want my Mommy"! she yelled

"Kenz, your Mom is on the other side of the glass don't worry"

"El please get her for me" she started begging.

"Ssh, baby it's o.k just take a deep breath". Kenzie collapsed into his open arms crying her eyes out.

She was starting to get over her RTS and I was happy about that. I had never really thought of Elliot as a father to her but the more I saw her around him, the more obvious it came to be.

Anyway after Kenzie had calmed down a bit. Elliot started again.

"Baby, can you tell me more about the woman that hurt you"? he soothed

"I don't want to"

"I want to go home and just relax for awhile"

This made Elliot laugh a little bit and I couldn't blame him.

"How about a deal, Kenzie"?

"Keep going" she smiled

"I will let you go home for a day or two but when you come back, be ready to talk to me".

"O.K Mr.Stabler, Elliot sir" she saluted him.

"Oh I love you Kenz" he laughed

"Same here". She hugged him tightly and we left.

March 3,2005

Elliot and Kenzie have a special bond together, I see it. Today he finally got her to talk! WoW! She told him all about her and only started to cry when we left.

She had come close to everybody calling them Uncle or Aunt something. Fin is really good about it. She always runs over to him and jumps on his lap and he puts up with it. He gave me his assurance that Julie would be put in prison for life for hurting his little buddy.

March 4,2005

Julie was spotted on Long Island today. Arrested and put in jail! The trial where Kenzie and I have to testify is tomorrow. I am nervous to see this bitch again. Liv and Casey assure me that everything will be o.k and i will never have to face her again. They tell me she will be put up in Sing Sing under high security that does make me feel a little better. Kenzie can't even eat she is sooooo nervous. The SVU squad took us out for dinner to celebrate her homecoming back to jail

and she won't eat!

March 12,2005

"How do you find the defendant"? the judge asks

"We the jury of New York find the defendant,Julie Trevose,guilty of all charges"

"O.k her persecution sentance will be held tomorrow, case dismissed"

I have waited all my life to hear those words. "Julie Trevose, guilty". Kenzie,my husband, and I all hope to put this behind us and carry on a normal life. Olivia and the rest of the SVU squad are going to keep in touch this time. That means letters, phone calls, and every month a visit. Kenzie is glad this is all over and will have regular therapy with Dr.Huang for awhile. Me, well I won't see him but i will try to piece my life back together. Before I finish this I would just like to add two quick suprises. Elliot and Olivia are getting married in three months and are already expecting their first child together, along with me!

Much Love to all,

Julietta and Kenzie

* * *

So what do you think, should I start another story? Leave it here or just write more stories having nothing to do with this? Thanks to everybody! 

Celina


End file.
